What a joy to share with this legend. I had the opportunity to speak on the stage with his wonderful daughter Julie who edited 16 of his 18 books. The lovely lady to his left is his wife, Jean.
The dictionary says that success is defined as "the attainment of popularity or profit," or "a person that achieves desired aims or prosperity."
That may be the world's definition of success, but I define success as a measurement of the heart that only the heart can know. In other words even if the world says that something is successful, if you don't feel successful in your heart of hearts... what is that kind of success really worth?
I have coached hundreds if not thousands of people and many have shared their stories with me. Success is a feeling, an inner knowing, a sense of contentment at a job well done.
To me Success and Significance are sisters, two sides of the same coin. First I feel successful within myself and then I begin to step up and out to support and help others. Remember that success is winning and significance is helping others win.
When you live a life of significance, you feel truly successful. It is the satisfaction and fulfillment that comes from helping others win.
Louise Mckay is doing just that. She is one of the three principals that came to my home in Hawaii for a private training. She shared with me recently that she returned to her school to hold their first staff meeting of the year and introduced the word HONOR as the focus word for the year.
Then she invited the entire to team to generate a list of 'honoring words' that could use in addressing one another.
The team came up with thirty or more honoring ways to speak with each other. Below are just a few:
- Would it be ok if…
- If you were in my shoes, what would you want me to say or do?
- Would you tell me what your biggest concern is…
- Can we work on this together?
- How is this working for you?
- What are your thoughts on…?
- Thank you for telling me
Louise is thrilled and amazed at the difference it has made in the atmosphere on campus. I encourage all of you who lead a team of any kind to follow in the model Louise has given us.
- Introduce the word - you might use HONOR or RESPECT or KINDNESS. You choose the word.
- Look it up in the dictionary with the team.
- Brainstorm a working definition that the team can agree on together .
- Divide the room into teams. Ask them to come up with words they could use when addressing each other that would reflect honor or respect or kindness that they agreed on.
And have fun with it. Louise tells me that the entire atmosphere in her school has shifted in a positive way. There is magic and joy through improved relationships and the work flows more easily!
My recent post about respect in leadership has generated an avalanche of emails on respect in the classroom. So this post is an attempt on how to define Respect for students in the K-12 Classroom. You know that at times it is hard to explain these values and character traits to students. So here goes...
Respect is defined as having high regard and actions that demonstrate honor and esteem for another person or entity.
Here is a definition that can be used with your Middle School Students:
Respect is a very special quality. It is a basic feeling between human beings. If you have respect, you are considerate, courteous, and caring. Respect is so important that songwriters even wrote a song about it.
"R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Find out what it means to me"
In order to get students involved in the lesson I suggest that you play Aretha Franklin's song (as noted above) and then open the class by asking what respect means to them. Here are some questions that might help you initiate a lesson on respect:
- What does respect mean to you?
- Do friends demonstrate respect to one another? In what ways?
- Is respect important in the family? Why? And how is respect demonstrated between siblings, child to parent, etc.?
There is self-respect, and respect for others. There is respect for property and respect for our environment. All types of respect are important.
Self-respect means that you value yourself. You feel that you are a worthwhile person and you have self-esteem. You count on people to treat you in a kind and caring way.
If you respect someone else, you are interested in them as a person. You honor and value them. You act in a kind and caring ways toward them. This kind of respect shows up in what you say and how you say it. If you respect someone you will speak in a kind and caring way. Your tone of voice and your behavior will have a nice quality when you are respectful.
Respect for property is how you treat things. It takes careful attention to deal with your own things as well as other people's things in a thoughtful considerate way. It is treating other people's property and public property as if they were your own.
'Respect for all life' is also very important. This means you respect Planet Earth. You care for the environment, and you are kind to all living things. You can show this kind of respect by not littering and not wasting Mother Nature's resources, such as water.
Without respect there would be a lot more rudeness in the world. No one would care about anyone else. Respect makes our world more peaceful and it makes all of our relationships more friendly and more fun.
How Do We Demonstrate Respect?
You can practice and demonstrate respect every day. What you do comes back to you so follow this simple law of cause (what you do) and consequence (comes back to you). Think about how you want to be treated and treat others in the same way.
You can demonstrate respect when you see older people. If an older person is standing on the bus and you are sitting, a respectful thing to do is give them your seat. Older people deserve a little extra respect and appreciation. Because you are younger, you have more energy and more strength. It is important to be sensitive to the needs of your elders and always try to help them.
You can practice respect by speaking quietly and not interrupting when others are speaking. You can listen with respect by staying focused on the speaker. You can act with respect by noticing the feelings and needs of others.
You can also show respect by kindness towards animals and all of Earth's creatures. Feed and care for your own pets and be kind to all living things.
Remember that you are a center of influence. Your words and deeds make a difference. What you say and do, and the way you say and do it can influence others. If you demonstrate respect to everyone and everything you become a positive model for other people. You will influence them in a positive way and your life will make a difference.
Ask students to journal for a few minutes at the end of every day on some act of respect they participated in or saw demonstrated by others during the course of that day.
About a week before the event begins participants, their families and support teams flood into town to prep for the weather and water conditions of this special race. They come from all over the world bearing their countries flags and their country's honor!
The excitement building to the race is palpable. Spouses, children and parents flood the streets and fill the restaurants for a week in advance. The fervor peaks on the morning of the race with 600 volunteers prepping from about 3:30am for the ocean swim and lining the course at their stations.
At 6:00am the top contenders explode into the water followed by nearly 1700 others a few minutes later. What a day! Families and support teams count the hours and track their loved ones progress on the internet.
Here is a pic of a man crossing the line to become an IronMan. If you look closely you can see him dancing a jig over the finish line (in the circle). It was a day long to be remembered and I'm glad I was there!
See the results of the race atÂ ironman.com
My Australian tour was exceptional. I now have many new friends, and I want to thank all of you men and women who are committed to 'raising the bar' in your lives. In each event the focus was growing your leadership skills, skill sets and competencies. All of you shared your courage and compassion with me. I was touched by your trust and your willingness to explore the edge, the boundaries of yourself, pushing yourselves to new heights of introspection, self-reflection and self-awareness!
In each and every event that I did, I walked away with a heightened sense of respect and honor for all human beings. I was especially moved by the personal connections I made with each of you. Thank you for your words, your quiet comments, a gentle look in your eyes. The human spirit you shared with me has touched my heart and inspired my soul. Thank you! I am forever changed and bettered as a result of our time together.
I returned home to the islands six days ago to find that my personal life had gone into hyper-drive! Two of my dearest Aunts are in the hospital as we speak! My emotions were ajumble, my heart hurt and I had to give a speech to the Speaker's Association of Hawaii on Tuesday night and a full day training the next day. 'These are the times that try mens' souls' as they say and I had to use every bit of the training to stay centered.
BE STILL AND REMEMBER TO REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE... I chanted the words in my head as I did the last minute prep for each event... I had to count on my inner stillness to keep me from going over the edge! The results were amazing. Each event went off smoothly!! The participants said they couldn't have been happier!
Robyn Teryvaud said she went through a similar experience. She had to call on her inner strength to do an event after she returned from the Life Without Limits Retreat and she used REMEMBER TO REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE to stabilize herself. She tells me it worked and the event went off really well.
Remember to remember that:
Life works if you will only get out of the way and let it!
ALOHA from Hawaii...
I have had one of the most delightful visits with my mother in a long time! We took off the day after her birthday and left her home in Grants Pass headed south towards Sacramento to see her 93 year old sister.
Rather than tell the story of our 6 days together in words, I'll share a few photos... We covered a lot of territory in a short time. Every day we went on a new adventure. The first shot on the left is Craig Mountain in northern California.
The final picture below is a buffalo in Wildlife Safari.
Mom and I both agreed that it would be so much more fun if we lived a bit closer to one another. Alas, I'm headed back north to Portland tomorrow and back to Hawaii on Monday.