In a recent corporate leadership seminar this specific topic of scaffolding skills for learners was raised.  As a group we talked about the need to support all managers in acquiring confidence in their skills and how this process is a never ending continuum.  Confidence in your own skills ebbs and flows as time marches forward depending on the things impacting our lives and the experiences we have.

To explicitly illustrate this point to the group I drew upon my experiences from the K-12 classrooms I have taught over the years, let’s do that here together.  I am creating working definitions of the word confidence here, not a dictionary definition.

In a Year 2 Classroom we might define Confidence like this:  Confidence is a belief in yourself, in the skills that you have and the things that you can do.  It is knowing that you can do things and not have people laugh at you, like painting a picture or doing a show-and-tell in the morning for the entire class.  Having confidence in yourself doesn’t mean not being nervous or scared of doing things, it means understanding that everyone gets nervous and scared at times but they are still willing to do the task.

This working definition in the Year 2 classroom is less relevant to the Principal running the school, or the Head of a Department.  These adults will need a much different definition and framework to get an understanding of Confidence.  When defining Confidence for adults we can bring other traits into the definition and expect the adult mind to link the traits together creating a much deeper understanding of Confidence.

As a group we defined Confidence for adults as:  A long slow and steady accumulation of experience, knowledge and insight leading to self-awareness, self-respect and appreciation of others.  A confident person can then apply these traits to new situations and challenges in the knowledge that whilst unnerving at times that they have the skills to get the desired outcome or are able to respond to the achieved outcome in a positive manner.

This second definition applies to the adults but would completely overwhelm a seven year old in Year 2.

You might even have a different definition of confidence, that’s great.  I am sure that your definition will be framed by the experiences, knowledge and insights you have developed across your career and your life to date.  You might even see that definition change as time marches on and your experiences deepen and broaden.

My ultimate point is human values and characters are very complex.  If ever you see students, or adults in your schools, exhibiting poor human traits remember that they need a series of small steps to allow them to understand the issues,  at this point in time, in their context and  in their world-view.

During my May 2010 Australian Tour I was able to collect the final version of a book produced by the CSE on Women in School Leadership.  I had read early manuscripts of the book, but to actually have the final version was a true gift.  The book compiles the stories of 12 inspirational female school leaders.  It is a a ‘must read’ for all those who wish to move up and expand their leadership, not just women.  Within the covers lies a template for leadership success shared by women who have walked the path themselves.

I recommend the book to you – Women in School Leadership: Journeys to Success

You can buy the book directly from the CSE via this link

This is a short video that introduces the book:

I have developed life-long friendships that will live forever in my heart.  And I pray that a bit of my heart lives on in the lives of the people I have touched.

My personal gift from this journey has been one utmost central and important lesson. 

The world is full of people and all these people are unique and truly beautiful with their own set of beliefs, strengths and insecurities.  And these uniquely human pieces are just amazing when they come together and act as one.

This lesson sparked me 20-odd years ago to begin formulating my ideas that today, I call my Whole Person Learning Model.  Where each person is a combination of their Intellectual Qualities, their Emotional Qualities and their Social Qualities – IQ, EQ, SQ.

As an American I lived through the No Child Left Behind (NCLB) period of a previous administration.  I personally saw the impact such policies had on teacher morale and principal self-esteem.  This week sees Australian schools complete their national tests.  Governments all around the world are currently, or at present planning, such national tests.  I guess these tests are now part of the landscape of our schools.

But these tests have made me pause for a moment and reflect.

If my 30+ years of work with people has had any impact, I need to think about the Whole Person in these testing regimes.  How do tests of literacy and numeracy measure the Whole Person?  Aren’t schools more than literacy levels?  Isn’t the IQ, EQ, SQ balance of a child, classroom, school or entire system important?  Don’t we need to reflect on the fact that good schools might have low numeracy levels.  Yet these same schools may be developing human beings that will make an incredible impact on the world in years to come?

I have to believe that the decision makers who are rolling out these national tests must be asking these very same questions themselves.

These questions are not easily answered and I don’t have  the answers myself.  In fact, I am not even sure that I have any answers.  What I do know is that my education over 60-odd years has instilled in me a need to ask the hard questions.  Because of this, I am willing to live ‘in the question even though I can’t always answer it.  I am willing to live in the paradox of questions without the certainty of closure.  I feel that the questions are important to our students and the future generations to come.

These questions and this thinking lead to this whitepaper – Beyond Standardised Tests – in which I try to think through this issue.  I hope you read it and it triggers some of your own questions.  I hope it prompts you to stop and give pause for a moment too.  And please, once you’ve read the piece let me know your thoughts whether in email or the comments section below.

Beyond Standardised Tests Whitepaper

It reminded me once again that the primary atom of leadership, is a based on a nucleus of respect.

Adapted from an article in the New Yorker 17 Jan 2005: Battle Lessons by Dan Baum

In April of 2003 a group of American soldiers walked down the road in Nadjaf towards the holiest Shia mosque in all of Iraq. Their intention was to liberate the city. However, Iraqi agitators had spread the lie that these American troops were going to seize the mosque and take the cleric prisoner.

Within minutes hundreds of Iraqis began pouring out of buildings and doorways on either side of the troops on the road to the mosque.  They pressed in on the troops – shaking their fists and screaming.  Their rage was palpable – visceral and it was closing in on the troops.

Seeing the danger, an American officer stepped through the crowd.  He raised a rifle over his head and turned the barrel intentionally to the ground as he said to his men, “Smile.”  Then he added, “Take a knee.”  It was an old sports term that meant kneel.

The soldiers looked at him as if he was crazy.  And then slowly, one by one, their bulky 60 to 100 pound back packs swaying on their backs, they went down on one knee their rifles pointing to the ground, before the enraged crowd.

A hush quickly fell over the crowd and the anger dissolved.  The officer ordered his men to retreat.  They quietly turned and slowly walked back to where the officer directed them. With his men out of danger, the officer turned to the crowd and bowed his head in acknowledgment.

Months later the officer, Lt Colonel Hughes was asked by a reporter how he knew what to do, and was he trained to do that, and was it specific to the Iraqs – this holding the rifle down and taking a knee?

Hughes was perplexed, he said it could have turned into an uprising.  But what it really needed he said, “was a gesture of respect”.

It seems to me that at the heart of this story is a lesson in leadership. In so many of our daily dealings with people what is really needed is a simple gesture of respect. For maybe the rope that binds us as human beings is made of many strands of various gestures of respect woven over time.

Ask me if I’m excited! I am!!!

I am finally having the opportunity to take years of professional experience, school and corporate consulting, coaching, and training and package it in ways that it can be shared with team leaders, supervisors and people in top leadership roles.

This week is a week full of corporate training. But please know that I have not abandoned ship! I will be back on board early next week.

Please join me then.

Yours Truly,

Trinidad

Research shows that the most successful organizations are those that build a culture of ‘constructive conflict’. This takes a high degree of emotional and social literacy. In such a community conflict becomes an opportunity for proactive positive engagement.

Here players handle conflict in a three tiered manner. Members only move from the first tier to the second and the second to the third if the conflict is not handled and dissolved at each previous level.

Level 1. Naturally, misunderstandings happen within departments and organizations. Level 1, takes self-reflection and emotional awareness. Ask team members to start with a self-coaching session. Invite them to consider the conflict from all aspects. Is it emotional or ego positioning on their part? Or is their a deeper misunderstanding that requires a discussion with the other party.

Level 2. Open dialogue and discussion with the other party involved will usually clear the air. This is where emotional and social literacy take front and center stage. Listen to the thoughts and feelings of the other person. Express divergent points of view with dignity, not defensiveness. Invite people to clear the misunderstanding in the light of the goals and objectives of the department or organization.

Level 3. Most of the time conflict will be resolved at the first two levels. If the conflict is not resolved there it is usually because it pertains to policies, principles or strategies and needs to be aired with the team it affects.

Always be willing to listen to your constituents and teach everyone in the organization to do the same. Remember that the goal with any conflict is productive resolution. This is a resolution that moves the members forward and furthers the goals and objectives of the entire organization and/or department.

As a classroom teacher it is very easy for conflict to arise with students. See if you recognize any of the following scenario:

• A student disagrees with you as the teacher
• The student sees no need to listen to your view as the view of their classmates is much more important
• The student argues their opinion as if it is fact
• Caught in an uncomfortable position, you use your authority to move on with the lesson
• Both you and the student leave feeling frustrated, even saddened, or the student is disciplined

This scenario is a snapshot of the Right vs Wrong conundrum. It only takes one or two of these scenarios before a student begins to disengage emotionally.

As a teacher myself, I had to recognize that changing the paradigm of Right vs Wrong could only begin with me. The  first step in my own process was self-awareness and a willingness to self-reflect and ask the hard questions of myself. “Where do I need to improve my own EQ and SQ?” And, “Where do I need to become more emotionally and socially conscious in my interactions with my students?”

The implicit method of modeling the behaviors I ask of my students is the critical first step in the process of developing a culture of caring. The next step is the explicit teaching of Emotional and Social Literacy. This can be done through specific activities that help students develop an awareness of their own behavior.

Both implicit and explicit EQ and SQ education are essential components in all classrooms – whether primary, middle or secondary school. Human beings are social and emotional beings. This necessitates social and emotional education to help students move beyond the right vs wrong mind set.

An alternative to the above scenario might be:

• A student disagrees with you
• You and the student discuss the situation at a later date
• You listen to the student’s perspective
• The student listens to your view
• You and the student find a higher common ground of agreement
• The student does not lose
• The bond of respect is strengthened

This team of trainers has achieved the transformation I spoke of in my last post on Creating a Culture of Caring. They are motivated, inspired and inspiring and they are totally supportive of their partner’s goals.

This is the human side of enterprise. They take care of each other and they get the job done!

Hawaii State Federal Credit Union licensed a series of programs for use in their in-house training programs. This is the teams’ graduation photo the day they received their certification in the communication series.

From top left: Jennifer Sims, Sheldon Matsui, Lita Viloria-Delahunty,                                               Bottom left: Cherese Maio, Gina Carvalho

Fast is slow when:

1. A team member has an idea and you’re in too much of a hurry to listen.
2. You make all of the improvement decisions.
3. You pass someone in the hall (anyone) and don’t say hello or at least acknowledge them with a smile.
4. You give a short answer when a longer one is needed or vice versa – you give a long answer when a short answer would do. (Know your audience!)
5. You engage in the Kaizen process alone.

Why is fast slow in these cases? Because each situation requires damage control which takes time. People want to feel that they make a difference and in each of these cases they went away wondering.

Don’t ever leave a person wondering. Remember, the human brain is hardwired to connect with others. Relationship is everything. Students, teachers, principals and business leaders can develop their Social Intelligence or SQ competencies. SQ saves time and energy in all human relationship connections and in our professional lives.

Here’s 2 pieces of information that really hit the SQ mark and may help clarify the role of relationships in our lives.

1. Neuro-plasticity – Your brain is like plastic. It is moldable. It changes throughout your life based on your experience, who you hang with, and your intention to change yourself. Human beings can learn and change at any stage in life.
2. Our brain is wired to connect with others. Even our immune system is linked to respond to our relationships. Positive nourishing relationships nourish us while negative relationships are toxic to the system, especially over time.

The more scientists study the human brain, the more they realize how important our SQ really is. Our social relationships and interactions influence both our brain and our biology.

Every school, every teacher and every principal needs to understand the importance of SQ education. It lowers the bullying incidents, upsets in the classroom and referrals to the principal’s office in the school.

And how important is SQ in leadership? A policeman friend put it simply when he said that a new police chief had just been hired from the ranks. “I judge a leader by whether I would go in before him on a raid or let him go in before me,” he said. “I would go in first to protect this man. That’s how much I trust him,” he said quietly. ”And from what I’ve heard, I believe anyone on the force would do the same.” The trust that my friend spoke of here only happens out of SQ!