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Weeding My Garden – The Ongoing Journey!

Have you ever caught yourself thinking something that one or the other of your parents thought?

Did you ever say to yourself, “I love my mom but I swear I will never do that one thing that she does.”  With men, it’s usually the father that you model, and it’s the same question.

Have you ever caught yourself doing something (like a behavior) that your mom or dad did?

Well I’ve seen certain behaviors before. But I just had a flashback the other day and gained a powerful insight regarding thoughts (or weeds) in my mental garden.

A fear took over. I got caught in it for about half an hour. Then I sat down and started the one minute meditation. One minute turned into six or seven. And as I continued to follow my breath, I gained enough awareness to separate from the fear. Then I begin to observe it.

I discovered that it was a thought that came from my parents. It had its origin in the pressures of their life and the decisions they made out of certain events or situations.

Neuroscience calls this harmonic resonance. I call it imprinting. And this was imprinting at its best! My brain had been raised with their thoughts. And their thinking left an indelible imprint on my mind. A neural pathway that didn’t originate with me, was now mine and I had to clear it!

Then I began to wonder how much they had imprinted from their parents. It appeared that the thread of imprinting could be traced back through the generations ad infinitum.

This isn’t about blame or being a victim of circumstance. Far from it. Rather, it is accepting myself and taking full responsibility for my upbringing as well as my present experience.

So here was an unsubstantiated fear. And as I went to face it head on, it morphed into it’s origin in my parents’ decision made a long time before I even knew that I had a choice.

I cleared that one, at least for now. But I wonder if its roots are even deeper than I know. I am now on high alert to notice if it returns. And if it does, my intention is to catch it before it catches me and sends me into a tailspin.

Now I wonder how many more of these weeds have I picked up from my upbringing!

Love to hear of your discoveries. Keep the notes coming as the journey continues. This adventure is getting more interesting with every passing day…

 

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