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How Can We Turn Our Back?
I was more than deeply disturbed at the story that surfaced months ago about Phoebe Prince, 15, who committed suicide in January due to bullying of epic proportions. Maybe heartbroken, stomach wrenching, sad, horrified that anything could come to this… maybe these feelings more closely approximate my reactions. Yet even these words belie the feelings in my heart of hearts.
I agonize for the parents. I agonize for the child who left our world in torment, thinking there was no other way out. I agonize for those that didn’t hear or respond to the cries of a child’s desperate need. I agonize for the schools who have these issues and the teachers and principals who face these issues daily. And I agonize for a system that has gone awry.
I feel as if I’ve been a voice in the wilderness calling for emotional and social literacy reform in the schools forever. But this blog is not about me. It’s about an issue so deep that It has become systemic. And maybe its deeper than that. Maybe it is about the health or lack of health of our humanity at its very core.
How many more children will be sacrificed? What does it take for all of us to wake up? Please follow this story and see if you can stand aside.
Every child is our child.
I am so sorry we lost this one.
Teachers please read this article, and parents too if you think your child might be being bullied
I am not the only voice calling for reform, this article also calls for action, but I want the reform to be deeper then policies and procedures.
Human beings are emotional social beings. If they are not getting emotional and social education, then we need to provide it. Let’s get to the heart of the matter that is ailing our children and then support this work with viable policies and procedures.
Why Emotional & Social Literacy?
I am calling for a more thorough integrated emotional and social literacy program throughout our schools. If I’m driving the point home too much, it’s because the depth of the human condition and the unspoken code of US vs Them is deep in the human psyche.
We see it everywhere. It’s in our homes; the divorce rate is nearly 50% or maybe a bit more now. It’s in our communities; the drug and alcohol abuse rate is reaching extremes. It’s in our schools; bullying and cyber-bullying has reached peak proportions. It fills the front pages of our papers.
My work in the business sector is called , the human side of enterprise. Businesses require a full comprehensive approach to the people and human side of organizational effectiveness. And this is for the adult level! Emotional and social literacy are at the heart of design for such organizations. It includes such things as: self-awareness, communication skills, leadership and coaching skills etc.
I think we need a “start early, keep going and stay late” approach to emotional and social literacy in our schools. It’s about time to face the need head on and design a comprehensive approach that has a deep and long lasting effect into adulthood. Maybe then our stats will change and maybe then we will see a positive difference in our societies.
Teaching Emotional Literacy
Here’s 5 things you can do to teach emotional literacy to your students:
- Read this quote by Aldous Huxley to your students “There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving – and that is your own self.”
- Ask them to write 2 or 3 sentences on what the quote means to them personally.
- Open the floor with a full classroom discussion on what the quote means and why it might be a quotable quote.
- Have students make a section in their binders called, ‘Personal Insights’. Invite students to reflect on their ‘corner of the universe’ using the following questions,
- What is one thing I would like to improve in my ‘corner of the universe’ or my behavior?
- What do I need to do to improve in this area?
- Close each day with 5 minutes of reflection:
- How did I do with my improvement goal today?
- What worked?
- Where would I like to improve tomorrow?
Right Vs Wrong in Leadership
This unspoken ancient code of right Vs wrong also wreaks havoc in leadership positions. When ego positioning occurs in an organization or department, it is sure to tear at the fabric of mutual respect and collaboration.
Research shows that the most successful organizations are those that build a culture of ‘constructive conflict’. This takes a high degree of emotional and social literacy. In such a community conflict becomes an opportunity for proactive positive engagement.
Here players handle conflict in a three tiered manner. Members only move from the first tier to the second and the second to the third if the conflict is not handled and dissolved at each previous level.
Level 1. Naturally, misunderstandings happen within departments and organizations. Level 1, takes self-reflection and emotional awareness. Ask team members to start with a self-coaching session. Invite them to consider the conflict from all aspects. Is it emotional or ego positioning on their part? Or is their a deeper misunderstanding that requires a discussion with the other party.
Level 2. Open dialogue and discussion with the other party involved will usually clear the air. This is where emotional and social literacy take front and center stage. Listen to the thoughts and feelings of the other person. Express divergent points of view with dignity, not defensiveness. Invite people to clear the misunderstanding in the light of the goals and objectives of the department or organization.
Level 3. Most of the time conflict will be resolved at the first two levels. If the conflict is not resolved there it is usually because it pertains to policies, principles or strategies and needs to be aired with the team it affects.
Always be willing to listen to your constituents and teach everyone in the organization to do the same. Remember that the goal with any conflict is productive resolution. This is a resolution that moves the members forward and furthers the goals and objectives of the entire organization and/or department.
I’m right your wrong!
The most effective Classroom Teachers have cracked the unspoken code of the human condition. This competitive code is – Right Vs Wrong and by the way I’m always RIGHT!
As a classroom teacher it is very easy for conflict to arise with students. See if you recognize any of the following scenario:
- A student disagrees with you as the teacher
- The student sees no need to listen to your view as the view of their classmates is much more important
- The student argues their opinion as if it is fact
- Caught in an uncomfortable position, you use your authority to move on with the lesson
- Both you and the student leave feeling frustrated, even saddened, or the student is disciplined
This scenario is a snapshot of the Right vs Wrong conundrum. It only takes one or two of these scenarios before a student begins to disengage emotionally.
As a teacher myself, I had to recognize that changing the paradigm of Right vs Wrong could only begin with me. The  first step in my own process was self-awareness and a willingness to self-reflect and ask the hard questions of myself. “Where do I need to improve my own EQ and SQ?” And, “Where do I need to become more emotionally and socially conscious in my interactions with my students?”
The implicit method of modeling the behaviors I ask of my students is the critical first step in the process of developing a culture of caring. The next step is the explicit teaching of Emotional and Social Literacy. This can be done through specific activities that help students develop an awareness of their own behavior.
Both implicit and explicit EQ and SQ education are essential components in all classrooms – whether primary, middle or secondary school. Human beings are social and emotional beings. This necessitates social and emotional education to help students move beyond the right vs wrong mind set.
An alternative to the above scenario might be:
- A student disagrees with you
- You and the student discuss the situation at a later date
- You listen to the student’s perspective
- The student listens to your view
- You and the student find a higher common ground of agreement
- The student does not lose
- The bond of respect is strengthened
Great E-Learning Tool!
I was recently reading Jane’s eLearning Pick of the Day blog and she highlighted a hot e-learning tool for the classroom, Sketchpad. It got me thinking about how to use computers with the development of emotional and social literacy in our students.
I wanted to explictly demonstrate how you can use technology to increase social literacy in your classroom. You can use this activity to easily link intellectual learning with the development of SQ competencies. You can do this activity if you have a smart board or computer available.
- Divide the class into learning teams of 4 or 5 students
- Give each team a geometry problem to work out or, if you want to turn it into a competition, give the same problem to each team
- Give them a time limit of 15 or 20 minutes depending on the difficulty of the problem
- Ask them to use Sketchpad to create visual representation of their solution
- Teach them to approach the activity strategically by dividing the work into different elements
- write the problem on paper
- solve the problem
- diagram a rough draft of their presentation
- computerize their presentation using Sketchpad
- decide who in the team will present each part to the class, ensuring that all team members stand and share a portion of their results
This activity is great for scaffolding SQ skills, such as Collaboration, Cooperation, Listening, Teamwork and Communication. These SQ competncies are implicit whilst the students are focussing on their problem solving skills in any subject that you choose.  The activity can be used in mathematics, reading, literature, social studies or any key learning area that you like.
I was recently used this scaffolding strategy when teaching my anti-bulling curriculum to a fifth grade class. In four sessions I had even the shiest and most withdrawn of students participating fully with team members and presenting with confidence in front of the entire class.
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