I want to respond to a recurrent question that has been asked of me. It came up again just recently and I realized that I needed to listen, review and respond! The question was this: “Do you really feel that the emotional and social qualities (EQ and SQ) are learn-able?”
The recent question was couched by a business executive. He went on to say that he didn’t feel it was possible to change a person’s oldest and deep-seated habits. He said that he had coached a couple of old timers on his exec team. “Although they had shown incremental change,” he said “But when the pressure was on, they often reverted back to old habits, using a derogatory tone or look.”
- Prepare! Read or reread my blog entries: Retrain Your Brain -March 26th and March 31st, Retrain Your Brain – April 2nd, An Apple a Day – April 7th, At Night Close the Circle, April 9th, Your Daily Dose – April 14th. Read these from the perspective of using them to coach others.
- Practice the morning Renew (of the goal and vision) and evening Review process yourself. (Remember, you can’t teach what you’re not willing to do yourself.) You will teach them this process once you help them clarify on their goal.
- Before coaching, make sure you are clear about their ‘gap’ (the distance between where they are and where they need to be).
- During the coaching session ask them (don’t tell them) where they feel they need to improve. Set SMART goals with them based on their answers.
- Ask them to use the Morning ‘Renew‘ and evening ‘Review‘ process when they brush their teeth each morning and evening.
- Ask them to log their daily wins each day for a week. Ask them to bring their log with them to each weekly meeting.
- Be consistent! Establish a 15-30 minute meeting weekly to discuss their results as posted in the log.
- Ask them where they would like to improve during the coming week. Write their answer down in your own log. Track their results and their intentions.
- Be patient and persevere with follow-up and follow-through! Make sure they win, remember that what gets acknowledged, gets repeated. Acknowledge incremental growth and you will get more growth!
And have fun with them. Growing and changing for the better is fun. When anyone improves, they have less stress, more harmony, better results! Plus, everyone around them wins too!
Here is a short list of qualities that make for professional and personal success. It might help spur your thinking!
EQ – The quality of our emotional reactions – how we react to different situations in our lives: self-control, self-motivated, optimistic, psychological hardiness, enthusiasm, trust, patience, resourcefulness, perseverance etc.
If you would like to receive the full IQ, EQ, SQ Modelâ„¢ learning card, send a self addressed stamped envelope to: Elan Enterprises / 47-430 Hui Nene St. / Kaneohe, HI 96744.Â Please include a note with your request and we will send you a free copy of the IQ, EQ, SQ Modelâ„¢ learning card. Executives and managers tell us that having it on their desk keeps them more focused!
Aloha from the beautiful islands of Hawaii, Trinidad…